first day of first

sienna started school last wednesday. first grade. she was with me in my program last year and this is the first time that she has gone *away* to school. the first time for this full time schedule. we are adjusting. honestly, she was over the top giddy to go to school. it was mom who had the anxiety (imagine that).

her first day!

in an ideal world, i would either be homeschooling her or she would be in a waldorf school. since i am engrossed with my own early childhood program at the moment and their is no waldorf school here (yet), we made the best choice that we could. i never thought we could really afford private school, but we received a bit of a scholarship and are committed to some lifestyle changes to make this work.

her homework for the first day was to bring a nature treasure that fit into the palm of her hand. she carried this dried flower so delicately all morning long as she waited for me to be ready to drive her to school.

i have raised her in the waldorf way, meaning that imagination and creativity have been the priorities, not academics. her new school uses experiential learning and does not do testing or textbooks. her teacher uses stories to teach and has the kids in nature for many of their lessons.

i shared with her teacher my concern about sienna's lack of academic knowledge and she reassured me many times that she was not worried, she had no expectations, and that she would work with the children wherever they were at. however, on the third day of school she asked me to stay and talk with her. it seems all the other children in her class (there are 9 total) are already reading. there is a significant gap in what sienna has been exposed to and where the other children are. the concern seems to be around her potentially developing social anxiety as she realizes she is not where her peers are. specifically, they have reading time for a small block each day. during this time she looks at books while the other kids around her are reading.

it seemed so appropriate to me that i ended up parked next to this graffiti just hours after i dropped her off for her first day. fortunately it is more a statement on my personal sentiments rather than hers! ;)

now i face some big decisions. move her to the kindy where she will be the oldest in her class again (she had this experience already in my program and it was wonderful, but as a born *leader* i was pleased that she would be joining her own peer group this year)? try to accelerate her learning of the lower case letters and letter sounds at home using waldorf methods whilst still allowing time for letting the lessons resonate inside her? allow her teacher to tutor her after school in a more traditional way?

ah, this has been an intense time of letting go for me. i have worked so hard to protect and honor my children's early childhood which included creating programs that i wanted to see them in as we went. as this year approached, i had sudden feelings of abandoning my ship and turning my focus toward first grade. however, i have invested a lot in bringing waldorf early childhood education to this community and it feels good to share that with others. my work is not done at dandelion hill. besides, jasper has three more years with me there! ;)

a sweet mama friend sent me a heart warming message the first day sienna went to school. it brought forth the tears that i was holding in all day. a release i so needed. i hope she doesn't mind that i share some of them here. they are words that will stay with me always.

as you send off your first born out into the school world...the pain and sadness and tears and nostalgia you feel... those emotions are all reflective of the consistent and deep ways you lived life to the full with sienna in her "preschool" years.........that depth makes today and this week hard, but be encouraged that you in no way diluted that experience to make today easier. the good road causes pain but what a good pain.

the same day, the beautiful post at wabi sabi wanderings echoed the sentiments in my deepest soul. such a delicate balance, holding them so close and letting them move so far away.

the upside (there are many others, i know) for me in this is that i get much more of this:
this sweet boy and i have never had consecutive mama/son time. he is usually off playing with his sister for much of the day. i find that with her out of the house so much, he is by my side all the time. i am loving nurturing this relationship with my dear boy!

and on that note.....he and i start school tomorrow ourselves! i must get back to work now!

wandering wednesday

here i stand on the trail with my children, hunting for the first gifts of autumn. the sight of this shiny chestnut peeking out from the forest floor at us brings squeals of delight every time. they are a most treasured find.
were have you wandered this week? see more wandering wednesday at garden mama.

black and white wednesday

photo booth fun on our last day of summer break together.
we miss her already.

more black and white wednesday at natural suburbia.

elements of self: shadow

after reading shakti mama's shadow post, i was inspired to look for textures in my own shadow on our hike to the river. it was a lot of fun waiting for the sun to peek through the canopy above and offer a glimpse of my silhouetted self. my shadow and i played a fun game of hide and seek in the forest this day.
this served for me as a gentle reminder of our interconnectedness to all that is. the love that unites each and every thing in the universe. a lovely children's book, all i see is part of me, comes to mind.
this was a much more light hearted challenge for me than the other elements of self posts i have done. shadows are so forgiving that way.

i had my hair in poofball pigtails on this day!

i do realize this is a self portrait series, but seeing as how this one is about shadows....it does seem appropriate that i include my two smallest shadow friends.

retreat to the river trail

despite the fact that school starts for me in less than a week and a half and i do not have my ducks in a row, despite the fact that i was out sick for half a week during *crunch time* and feel completely beside myself with the list of things to do , despite the fact that this was the last business day of the week to line some of those ducks up, i decided to forsake it all and soak up some time with my kiddos today. sienna starts first grade in just a few days. this will be the first time she has been in school away from me and the first time she has had a full time schedule. i want to savor every minute before that shift happens.we used to go to this trail quite a bit. we lived down the road and we would mark the seasons on this well worn path along the river. however, several moms have given me reports of rattlesnake sightings and the trail is highly trafficked by the neighboring college kids, so we don't go as often as we used to.
the trail winds through the forest, the river to one side and the open pasture of the college farm to the other.
there are many trees along this path that hold a special place in our hearts. nooks and crannies revisited through the years. sienna climbing higher and higher each time we go. jasper just getting big enough to start reaching some of her favorite spots.
jasper did his share of squealing today. that is where we are at apparently. lots of squealing, almost a screech really. he wanted to be carried on the way there and definitely wanted to be carried back out. we did lots of negotiating.
though he had been geared up for an hour and had wanted to jump in the river every time he spotted it through the trees, once he actually got wet, he pouted and wanted me to dry his suit for him. sister helped persuade him out to the wee rapids that she was having so much fun in. he laughed and played but never let go of my hand, my sweet timid child.
we spotted bits of autumn peeking out already! the forest trail was the perfect temperature. breezy at times with a shower of leaves falling from the canopy. such a lovely change from the intense heat and leaving us with a longing for the cooler days to come.we we returned to the car, the cows were there waiting for us. the kids love watching them graze and swish the flies away with their tails.

on a side note, our new dandelion hill teacher, ms jessica, parked at this same spot a few hours later to go for a swim and returned to her truck to find her window smashed in and her computer bag stolen. all her curriculum notes and her studies from her teacher training at sunbridge this summer. it makes me feel sick inside. not to mention it greatly complicates things for us, especially during said crunch time. we really on the internet for our constant communications with one another as well as with the parents.

i can not imagine having emerged from the trail with my kids in tow, communing with the cows, anticipating the dry clothes and lunches awaiting us in the car to find our window smashed in!! i have had a hard time with this today. i'm sure ms jessica has too.back to the happy thoughts....these beauties are the real reason i like to go to this trail! we found a handful of buckeyes peeking up at us through the decaying forest floor. their smooth skin and their rich colors make them a delightful treasure for young and old alike.
sienna allowed me a few photographs of these beauties in her finished bowl from wood day, then she whisked them away to a special spot in her room. the bowl she sanded (with some finishing help from mom and dad) and polished with mamakopp's beeswax polish. it turned out so lovely and warm.

last year we found only two or three buckeyes, but the year before we hit the mother lode! they were abundant on the forest floor and we brought home a basket full while leaving hordes for the squirrels, too. these treasures are still in play in their play kitchen at home and the one at the preschool, too. they are one of the most played with items in our home (along with acorn caps)!

tomorrow is full to the brim with school preparations. we have sienna's first grade picnic in the morning and then ms jessica and i have a few more home visits to complete. somewhere in there we need to go shoe shopping as the little lass is in need of some new shoes for the school year.

wishing you a rewarding and relaxing weekend! xoxoxoxo

catching the sun

we made these sun catchers at *fun in the sun* camp a few weeks ago. since sienna was off at her own special camp that week, i saved the leftover supplies to do with her one day.
this is not a new idea. just my take on a classic.
i cut the sun shapes out of yellow card stock and cut a circle in the middle. then i cut out two circles from waxed paper, just slightly larger than the opening in the sun.
i keep all of our crayon shavings from sharpening as well as all those random crayons that we pick up at restaurants, etc. we are crayon snobs ;) so these are all saved for crafting. however, all my sunny colors were used up last fall. so we grated some of the ancient block crayons that are being replaced at the preschool.once grated, we sprinkled some shavings on our wax paper circle. it doesn't take very much! too many and you will have a waxy mess oozing out the sides. we laid another circle on top of the shavings.

next comes the ironing. i recommend using an old cloth of some sort. we use a mismatched pillow case. sandwich your wax paper circle in between two layers of the cloth and iron for 30 seconds or so.
sienna liked hers less melted so all the bits were still individually visible.
we glued our crayon melts to our suns and hung them in the window!
do you see the second sun behind the sun catcher?

here are the ones from camp.

wandering wednesday

here i stand, weak but persistent, amidst the cord of the vacuum reclaiming my house from the chaos it fell to. three days on the couch for any mama means there is much to do when we can stand again.

please visit garden mama for more wandering wednesdays.

black and white wednesday

having fun playing with this photo. i had to let her eyes shine through. ;)

see more black and white wednesday photos by visiting linda at natural suburbia.

wood day

yesterday was *wood day* at the folk art center up on the blue ridge parkway. this event is annual and free and there are many demonstrations of all sorts of woodworking going on. being the wood lovers that we are, we had to go check it out!
the first demonstration we saw was joe ruminski turning this natural edge bowl. sienna and jasper both enjoyed watching him at work with the lathe, but sienna was absolutely spellbound. she watched him finish one bowl and then stayed to watch the entire process again!
he gifted her the bowl he made for her incredible patience and focused interest. such a sweet gesture! his instructions were to let it sit overnight and then to sand, sand, sand and finish it. we have worked on that a bit today. i will post pics when it is finished.
we saw only one woman (and i failed to take her picture!). she is a carver. she was working on a gorgeous nativity scene. we engaged in a lovely conversation about the beauty of wooden toys, the imaginative play of children, and the barrage of plastic toys her grandchildren are surrounded by. i want to adopt her!

my children have played with wooden toys as long as they can remember so it was really incredible for them to see the different steps these figures progress through before they come to life.
this was my favorite sign! the best part was that the sign itself was the first thing that jasper picked up. this is the work of jim mc phail. his display was intriguing because he uses lots of exotic woods and had squares of them all and showed what they looked like before and after they were finished. he also stacks these woods to make these layered bowls and he had clever little displays to show this process....and you could touch it all. ;)
his lathe was much smaller as he works on a rather tiny scale. once again, sienna waited patiently for him to begin, stayed for the entire process, and asked poignant questions. and once again....he gifted her the bowl!! as you can see here, these tiny bowls are quite pricey! we won't talk about how that price tag is likely because some of the woods he uses are from endangered trees. no, i'll just let her enjoy her little bowl. it has gone off to live in that extravagant dollhouse. a shaving horse at work. this guy was cute and didn't quite know what to do with the kids. he gave them some curly-q shavings. ;)
and yes, it gets even better!! she got to turn her own pen! the carolina mountain woodturners were on hand to help folks make their own keepsakes. technically, children were to be 7, but they let her slide under the radar.
she started with a block of wood and worked with this fellow to carve the pen shape and make lines in it for her design. she wore this face shield and they held the carving tools together.
then she moved outside to work with this fellow and began sanding her piece. at this point, she was able to do most of the work by herself. here she began adding color. it was a fascinating process. using a sharpie marker, she held it at the bottom edge of the pen and the color went on quickly as the lathe continued to spin. after the color was on, she waxed it with a block of beeswax and polished it with a cloth.
here is her final work! she could not have been more proud.
her treasures from the day. they even gave her a certificate for completing an introductory woodturning lesson.
as we picnicked together afterward, this bowl became an impromptu nature display.this little guy was a real trooper. there was not much for the three year old crowd to do but look. once (a long time before we were finished actually) he said *me want to get out of this place*, but other than that he hung in there for three hours while his sister indulged herself! this is his pouty face afterward when he lamented *me no make anything*. i love his toddler lingo.

sienna lay with me last night, clutching her pen tightly, going on and on about all the things she wants to make on a lathe. she was particularly impressed that she got to do the same project as the grown ups that were there. she slept with her pen in her bed last night. ;)

today....i have strep throat. :( i'm going back to bed now. hope you all enjoyed a wonderful weekend!